1 day ago
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Today's prompt was to write about a routine, so if you want to know what it's like around here, every single morning, the below is an ode to our dog, Harley. A wonderful , if somewhat opinionated creature.
Daily Instruction Manual
Get up. Use the bathroom. If you
close the door, it will be nudged open.
Closed doors are not approved.
You may dress, although it is clear
this is seen as pointless. Slip-on
shoes are preferred. Socks are seen
as an unreasonable delay. Grab
the bag. Unlock the front door. Exit
across the parking lot to your
first stop. Wait. Walk west, slowly.
Up to five minutes of sniffing will
be tolerated before you may insist
on the second stop. Wrap results
in the bag. Visit the dumpster. Return
home. Refresh the water supply.
Provide a nourishing breakfast. Sit
on the north end of the couch- NOT
THE CHAIR! Make lap available.
Up to five minutes of petting will
be tolerated before he may insist
on leaving for the coffee shop.
DO NOT CONSIDER MAKING YOUR
OWN COFFEE! Enter the garage.
Open the car door, stand back, you
may enter last. Provide chauffeur service,
opening passenger window at slow points
to allow multi-sensory observation
of morning activities. Return home.
Open the patio door to allow full access.
You may now get on with your day.