Thursday, May 14, 2009

TWW - nervous, bicker, trajectory

Gravitational Pull

Nervous flicker of eyes,
we wobble off course

unwilling to bicker,
backs turn, take opposite

trajectories, where
will we go? round

and round to collide
exactly here again, or

do we finally have
enough fuel to escape

this orbit

9 comments:

  1. Very cleverly done- I really like this! I love 'we wobble off course'...it could be applied to so many situations!
    Great piece!
    Bella

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  2. this made me think of how difficult it is to get enought strenght to stop doing whatever it is that keeps bringing them back.

    i like this a lot.

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  3. Love the celestial metaphor!

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  4. At first, I was unsure about the breaks, but then I opened myself up to the title, and then felt the pull of why you broke the lines as you did. We do wobble off course a lot.

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  5. Escaping that orbit would be a good thing! :) Wobbling is what most of us do... Nice piece.

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  6. I really enjoy this. I like the breaks, I found myself taking deep breaths at them, while the thoughts continued. so much truth in how we're pulled into the same unhealthy habits/conversations/fights/relationships and how sometimes it takes rocketfuel power to change our orbit. So well done. I liked this a lot. -Meg

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  7. Form nicely mirrors the action. Thanks for the read. Mine is here.

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  8. Yeah, clever stuff! Ground control to Major Tom...

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