Gravitational Pull
Nervous flicker of eyes,
we wobble off course
unwilling to bicker,
backs turn, take opposite
trajectories, where
will we go? round
and round to collide
exactly here again, or
do we finally have
enough fuel to escape
this orbit
21 hours ago
Very cleverly done- I really like this! I love 'we wobble off course'...it could be applied to so many situations!
ReplyDeleteGreat piece!
Bella
this made me think of how difficult it is to get enought strenght to stop doing whatever it is that keeps bringing them back.
ReplyDeletei like this a lot.
Love the celestial metaphor!
ReplyDeleteAt first, I was unsure about the breaks, but then I opened myself up to the title, and then felt the pull of why you broke the lines as you did. We do wobble off course a lot.
ReplyDeleteEscaping that orbit would be a good thing! :) Wobbling is what most of us do... Nice piece.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy this. I like the breaks, I found myself taking deep breaths at them, while the thoughts continued. so much truth in how we're pulled into the same unhealthy habits/conversations/fights/relationships and how sometimes it takes rocketfuel power to change our orbit. So well done. I liked this a lot. -Meg
ReplyDeleteForm nicely mirrors the action. Thanks for the read. Mine is here.
ReplyDeleteIt is filled with action. Fast paced!
ReplyDeleteunfocussed
Yeah, clever stuff! Ground control to Major Tom...
ReplyDelete